Just got home after 3 hours from what should have been a quick trip to the grocery store and Home Depot. I decided to check Lowe’s to see if they had better deals on light fixtures since I have handymen here tomorrow to install them. As I left the store, I couldn’t help but notice it had started pouring rain and I had no umbrella. I ran to the car, quickly loaded and jumped inside. It wouldn’t start! It wasn’t even turning over. I had noticed it needing some gas to get started lately and had decided to take it into the dealership on Monday, but I totally didn’t expect that.
I called my Dad to come get me and then called a Nikki and Scott about my dilemma. Between the two of them (I could hear her dictating in the background), they decided it might just be a dead battery and advised me to ask an employee if any of them had jumper cables. As Scott put it, they’ll send out the store bohunk and he’ll take care of it.
Instead, I got Melanie from customer service. When I walked back in the store, I first asked the returns guy who had been leering at my boobs when I walked in, about jumper cables. He turned and asked Melanie who immediately volunteered that she had some and would get them as soon as she was done with her current transaction. I feared that meant she would give me the cables and expect me to find someone to jump me. And wondered if the friendly-looking middle-aged contractor she was helping might volunteer. As soon as she was done with him, she offered to go pull her truck around. I stood in a parking spot in the rain to keep it open for her. In the meantime, the contractor was parked right next to me. He quickly loaded up his car, making a special effort not to look anywhere in my vicinity so he wouldn’t have to help.
Once we figured out where the two batteries were located, she had to hurry and cut off another car headed for the perfect, just vacated, spot. The other woman angrily honked repeatedly, but hey, you got to do what you got to do. Melanie climbed right up into the very high truck bed, pulled the cables out of the giant toolbox, jumped down and went to work. By this time, my Dad had arrived, but he hadn’t been able to locate his jumper cables, so he could only provide a ride if I needed one.
The car failed to turn over repeatedly, but was starting to act like it wanted to. Unsure of whether it was the battery or starter, we decided to give it some time while she ran back in to make sure she wasn’t needed on the job. Again, no start. I was about to give up when she decided she should give the truck some gas to rev it up while I tried one more time. The car started right up and I made it home fine.
Incidentally for those of you who are making negative assumptions about capable women (Rob!), Melanie was quite feminine and is married to a fellow Lowe's employee. As she told me, she lives in Belton, but had to leave her original store when her husband was promoted to management.
Even better, Nikki’s brother is one of my handymen and she spoke to his partner who promised to take care of my battery issue tomorrow. Apparently, he is one of those guys who knows a lot about cars.
Oh, just as Melanie was getting to pull her truck around, a couple pulled up two spaces over and them man asked if I was alright. “Yes, thank you,” I said. “I am being rescued.” No, I don’t know the first thing about cars, but at that I felt a sense of pride that I was being rescued by another woman. Yes, we’ve come a long way, baby. Thanks sister!
Saturday, August 15, 2009
What You Can Learn About People from Their Reaction to “Rachel Getting Married”
Everyone should be required to watch the new-on-DVD film “Rachel Getting Married.” Why? Because it gives everyone else a chance to instantly judge their compatibility with another person simply by their opinions of the movie. It shall be my new standard for judging people’s character. This is one of the few films that is most likely a love it or hate it experience. I’ve been told that about many other movies, but found I had only a tepid response to them. This is the real deal.
And frankly, this is also one of those films I both loved and never want to see again (hellooo “Elephant Man”). It is a highly uncomfortable movie about the highly uncomfortable subject of addiction. Yet, most of us have or will need to deal with the discomfort of addiction at some point in our lives. Either we will develop our own issues or find that a family member or close (possibly formerly) friend have fallen victim to the disease.
The truth is, I don’t care if you loved or hated this movie. While I fall into the former camp, not everyone’s taste is the same. I just want to know how you feel about Kim.
I recently had a conversation with friend who has done everything right in his life. He got a respectable job out of college, married a lovely woman, saved, invested, and carefully planned for retirement. He has a perfect “white picket fence” life with a nice home, two beautiful children, and all the electronic toys and vacations he can ask for. The problem is that both his and his wife’s families are a mess. He has known it since the beginning of time and yet he still is constantly disappointed by how his parents and grandparents, brothers, and in-laws act. Somehow, he expects that even though none of these people ever change that they will behave differently this time than they have every other time in their lives and he is constantly bitter that they do not. To me this is the emotional equivalent of repeating the same behavior and expecting different results, which is a standard definition of a fool. So, yes, I am calling him an emotional fool. And, yes, we have had our differences in the past with him judging me harshly on my life choices and trying to direct me to more “responsible” options. BTW, he hates his job and is miserable 5 days a week.
In a recent conversation with him, he brought up my brother who is in long-term rehab. No, I haven’t spoken to Lin in months. My reasoning? I was at rehab 1 every weekend. I called and wrote when he was in rehab 2. Now, he is in rehab 3 and frankly, I don’t give a rat’s a** what happens in rehab. The only thing I care about is what happens when he comes home.
My friend then mentioned “Rachel Getting Married.” He liked it, but thought it showed how horribly selfish addicts are as they don’t care about anyone but themselves.” Boy, was I surprised to find myself bawling for the character of Kim as she made her full AA confession and again when she visited her mother and then tried to drive home. Yes, she is very selfish, and yes, the people around her have paid a heavy (almost unbearable) price for her addiction, but she has paid it, too. She doesn’t love herself and can’t love herself, and I don’t blame her. She is forever trapped by the sins of her past and no one else has actually forgiven her for them either. It’s a complete wonder that she achieves sobriety at all. It’s so much easier to drown out guilt and self-hatred when you are drunk or high.
So watch the movie and tell me, do you feel for Kim or simply hate her? It is easy to see why so many of the movie’s characters hate her, but so hard to judge her that harshly after seeing her side. Compassion is not about caring about the people who do everything right, but about accepting the sinners amongst us, too.
And frankly, this is also one of those films I both loved and never want to see again (hellooo “Elephant Man”). It is a highly uncomfortable movie about the highly uncomfortable subject of addiction. Yet, most of us have or will need to deal with the discomfort of addiction at some point in our lives. Either we will develop our own issues or find that a family member or close (possibly formerly) friend have fallen victim to the disease.
The truth is, I don’t care if you loved or hated this movie. While I fall into the former camp, not everyone’s taste is the same. I just want to know how you feel about Kim.
I recently had a conversation with friend who has done everything right in his life. He got a respectable job out of college, married a lovely woman, saved, invested, and carefully planned for retirement. He has a perfect “white picket fence” life with a nice home, two beautiful children, and all the electronic toys and vacations he can ask for. The problem is that both his and his wife’s families are a mess. He has known it since the beginning of time and yet he still is constantly disappointed by how his parents and grandparents, brothers, and in-laws act. Somehow, he expects that even though none of these people ever change that they will behave differently this time than they have every other time in their lives and he is constantly bitter that they do not. To me this is the emotional equivalent of repeating the same behavior and expecting different results, which is a standard definition of a fool. So, yes, I am calling him an emotional fool. And, yes, we have had our differences in the past with him judging me harshly on my life choices and trying to direct me to more “responsible” options. BTW, he hates his job and is miserable 5 days a week.
In a recent conversation with him, he brought up my brother who is in long-term rehab. No, I haven’t spoken to Lin in months. My reasoning? I was at rehab 1 every weekend. I called and wrote when he was in rehab 2. Now, he is in rehab 3 and frankly, I don’t give a rat’s a** what happens in rehab. The only thing I care about is what happens when he comes home.
My friend then mentioned “Rachel Getting Married.” He liked it, but thought it showed how horribly selfish addicts are as they don’t care about anyone but themselves.” Boy, was I surprised to find myself bawling for the character of Kim as she made her full AA confession and again when she visited her mother and then tried to drive home. Yes, she is very selfish, and yes, the people around her have paid a heavy (almost unbearable) price for her addiction, but she has paid it, too. She doesn’t love herself and can’t love herself, and I don’t blame her. She is forever trapped by the sins of her past and no one else has actually forgiven her for them either. It’s a complete wonder that she achieves sobriety at all. It’s so much easier to drown out guilt and self-hatred when you are drunk or high.
So watch the movie and tell me, do you feel for Kim or simply hate her? It is easy to see why so many of the movie’s characters hate her, but so hard to judge her that harshly after seeing her side. Compassion is not about caring about the people who do everything right, but about accepting the sinners amongst us, too.
The End of Communism in Cuba?
Looks like we finally have Cuba right where we want them! How can the people not rise up against a tyranical government that lets them run out of toilet paper? http://www.examiner.com/x-14795-Page-One-Examiner~y2009m8d9-The-Cuban-toilet-paper-shortage
That is, unless PETA has their way: http://www.peta.org/mc/NewsItem.asp?id=13454
Seriously PETA? This is not your fight and you need to just stay out of it. Besides, don’t you realize that switching from meat to high-fiber fruits and vegetables would just compound the problem for Cubans? The last thing you need to do during a toilet paper crisis is switch to a high-fiber diet! They should probably be stocking up on dairy products instead. And what about the poor babies having to revert to cloth diapers with safety pins! Oh, wait, you probably can’t convince them to go vegan when they absolutely insist on the cruelty of suckling milk from their poor mothers. Darn babies! When will they learn that soy is a healthier alternative?
That is, unless PETA has their way: http://www.peta.org/mc/NewsItem.asp?id=13454
Seriously PETA? This is not your fight and you need to just stay out of it. Besides, don’t you realize that switching from meat to high-fiber fruits and vegetables would just compound the problem for Cubans? The last thing you need to do during a toilet paper crisis is switch to a high-fiber diet! They should probably be stocking up on dairy products instead. And what about the poor babies having to revert to cloth diapers with safety pins! Oh, wait, you probably can’t convince them to go vegan when they absolutely insist on the cruelty of suckling milk from their poor mothers. Darn babies! When will they learn that soy is a healthier alternative?
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